


Two Slow Dancers

by mikamikanat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Disabled Character, Emetophobia, F/F, Lack of Communication, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, marriage problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikamikanat/pseuds/mikamikanat
Summary: It's 30 years after the game ended and everyone entered New Earth. Terezi and Vriska are in their forties and Vriska has some problems dealing with her trauma.
Relationships: Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Kudos: 17





	Two Slow Dancers

Dry desert air fills her throat, making it hard to breathe. It's a windy night and the sand soaks in her hair, she runs a calloused hand at her hairline and through as far as she can before it's too thick and dirty to run through. She hears hissing, angry hissing. A voice only she hears through telepathy, a voice dead for three decades as of now. It screams and demands food. It makes her blood icy and her heart clench, she attempts to cough up the sand filling her lungs but all that comes up is blackness. A dark sludge that replaces the desert, swallowing her whole, leaving Spidermom's voice to fade.

In the pit of darkness, suddenly knives surround her. Emerging from the slimy black, dripping. In an instant, one shoots into her right arm, and another slashes down the space below her ribs, and another into her right eye. 

She lurches up, panting heavily and grabbing tightly at the covers. Staring wide-eyed into their bedroom, Vriska attempts to catch her breath as she recollects from her nightmare. Her huffing makes it all more apparent that she is very thirsty. She cups a hand over her perspired face, sighing. 

She shoves the covers away to get out of bed onto her sleeping wife. She casts a gaze back to her. Terezi is sleeping like a log on her back with both arms held over her head, head no longer on the pillow. Vriska grabs her cane and limps over to the bathroom. After she drinks tap water from her hands she sits on the edge of the bathtub and watches some Tiktoks Vrissy sent her while she was sleeping.

When she's calm enough to get back in bed she slips under the covers. Terezi grunts in her sleep and Vriska watches her, silently, falling asleep for a few hours more. 

In the morning she eyes herself without her eyepatch on. The wound from the void wasn't ever curable since Vriska already godtiered. A long, ragged scar runs from her brow to right below her cheekbone. All seven of her pupils are discolored and she can barely see blurred shapes when she covers her good eye. Terezi tells her that's how she sees as well. Vriska is glad that that's the case and Terezi doesn't just see total darkness all the time. It's comforting. 

After a shower Vriska throws on a tank top and shorts. She's never cared about presentation before. She slips on her eyepatch again and gives herself a toothy smile in the mirror. 

She makes her way into the living room to find Terezi watching lizard documentaries. Her arm is perched on the couch like a human frat boy with a bottle of water in her hand and Vriska laughs at the resemblance. 

The new earth sun isn't blistering like Alternia's sun, President Crocker set a curfew that disturbs trolls normal nocturnal sleep schedule. It was a bit disturbing to Vriska's body at first, but she does enjoy feeling warmth from the windows every morning. 

She grabs a poptart package from the pantry and bites off the perimeter of crust before going for the actual pastry. It's the emoji version of poptarts Dave gave them as a housewarming gift years ago that Terezi eventually grew fond of. Vriska likes that it doesn't have the sprinkles on them that give a weird mouth feel. 

Terezi sniffs twice and turns her head towards Vriska, giving her a wide grin. The blueberry scent that comes from Vriska's blood is second to the smell of red Terezi's always liked. 

"Morning, Vriska."

Vriska responds with a grunt. "I'm gonna be in the study."

"Alright," Terezi says, turning back to the lizard documentary. Vriska retreats.

ln the study Vriska slumps in her chair and opens her laptop. A photo of her, Terezi, Dave, and Karkat on a road trip is the desktop cover. A giant Crocker billboard taints the picture and Vriska gets a fleeting, impulsive desire to smash the screen. Instead, she opens some emails and gets to writing some blogs for the website she works for. 

Vriska holes herself in the study throughout the afternoon and in the evening. Only leaving to piss and grab some wine. She avoids food entirely until Terezi knocks on the glass door.

She peaks in to ask instantly, "Vriska have you ate today?" 

Vriska holds her forehead in her flat palm and rubs her temples with the other. "I'm not hungry."

"Don't-" Terezi begins to say with frustration, but then sighs and turns away from the room. Vriska hears her footsteps move into the kitchen and the sound of the fridge opening follows soon after. Vriska limps her head into the crook of her elbow and tries to ignore the sharpness in Terezi's voice.

Terezi comes back soon after without knocking and approaches the desk. She seems to be irritated as she feels around to move Vriska's laptop away from her and grabs the empty glass of wind into her claws. 

She sets down a plate of stir fry. Neither of them are particularly good at cooking, so lazy meals are always in accordance. Vriska arches her eyebrow at her wife and sits up, continuing to look at her. 

"I said I wasn't hungry." Terezi frowns at her.

"I know you feel like shit still."

"And while I respect your need for space-"

"I'm not going to enable your stubbornness with eating."

"You have to eat, okay? It's not optional."

Vriska hates the way Terezi talks in spacebars when she lectures her. "Fine, alright. I got it."

"No, you obviously don't!" Terezi snaps. "You say you'll eat, you'll get to it, but you never do! I'm worried, Vriska. And being like this when it comes to taking care of your body is just unacceptable. I'm not going to be passive about this."

"Okay okay okay jeez, I'm sorry. I'll eat." She reaches for her fork and lifts some rice to her mouth, staring at Terezi silently.

"Thank you."

"Take a shower, you need to _'take care of your body'_ too."

Terezi laughs, "I'll pretend I didn't hear mockery, but you are being fair." 

She leans in to kiss Vriska's forehead, but Vriska doesn't acknowledge it. Terezi leaves the study and Vriska eats some more buttery rice, avoiding the meat and vegetables.

  
  


Late in the night Vriska lays against the back of her chair. She forgot her cane in the bathroom the night before and her leg pains are acting up. She bites her thumb to try and distract herself. She slides the base of her thumb into her fangs and laps up the tiny bit of cerulean that comes out. Vriska stares at the Crocker advertising in the back of her desktop photo. She recalls her therapist telling her that a lot of her behavior comes from Alternia's violent society and her own trauma against killing people. Vriska doesn't like that she already had a tremendous body count by the time she was thirteen, and doesn't like the idea of a different Alternia popping up in future history.

Keeping up with the news is always stressful. Jane's proposals against troll rights feels all too similar to the discussions she had with Kanaya over The Condense's new restrictions on Jadeblood reproduction. Kanaya was a lucky one who was protected by her lusus while she was running away from the cloister.

Vriska couldn't run away from her home, if Spidermom found her she wouldn't have killed her, but she would have made her do something vile as punishment. 

Vriska and Terezi don't talk to Kanaya and Rose anymore. Something about the discomfort of talking to the wife of someone Terezi hooked up with and the tensions that put in all four of their relationships with each other. Kanaya wasn't so mad about the rebound, as much as she was that Terezi didn't try to bring her home. Rose felt awkward talking to Terezi, and Vriska was always jealous of Kanaya's easy life. Equally mad at how easy she was able to crumble under such little stress when her wife wouldn't talk to her while she was ascending. Kanaya getting upset at Rose avoiding her for a month while Terezi and Vriska didn't talk for years at a time makes her blood boil. 

Kanaya has always had it easy. Kanaya only has a few thorns in her side. Being groomed into a motherhood role from a young age, and getting married too early. Vriska has so _many_ thorns embedded into her, and she can't get over how un-fucking-fair it is that that is the case. 

Staring at herself in the black of her laptop she wonders to herself if she had never had spidermom for a lusus, if she had a caring mother. If she hadn't been born a cerulean. If she never played Sburb. If she never talked to June. If she never met Terezi. If… if… if… 

She slugs to their bedroom. Her legs feel like lead with her hip ringing a sharp pain. She has to shuffle mostly to get in bed. The bathroom light flickers on and startles her. 

"Vriska?" Terezi rubs her eye. "When did you get in bed?" She giggles. 

Vriska says nothing for a bit. "Were you. Taking a piss in the dark?"

"Dark and light don't mean anything to me, you know that. Well, aside from the fact that the light hurts my eyes."

"Why'd you turn it on at the end, then."

"For you, so you could see me >:]"

"You're so theatrical." Vriska lifts her legs into bed and grimaces in pain. She feels the weight of Terezi settling on the other side of the bed. She really wants to ask Terezi to tuck her in and kiss her goodnight but that would be embarrassing. She loves Terezi, but she's a little clueless when it comes to what Vriska wants in affection. Terezi tugs on the comforter and leaves Vriska with the sheet. 

________________________________________

The following days Vriska either holes herself up or leaves the house to avoid Terezi's prying. She'll hang out with Vrissy and Harry to keep her and them out of trouble. They're both in college and old enough to drink, but she still wants them to be responsible. Herry, especially, with his family's history of addiction. That leaves it all smoothed out to where she and them won't drink, and everything in the world is right.

Everything those kids say is mostly nonsensical and it keeps Vriska from thinking about her woes. They hang out on a boardwalk and watch Tiktoks. During their hangout Vrissy mentions her moms going back into Sburb to fulfill more small missions building up to Lord English's defeat. Vriska asks if Vrissy can mention to Rose that she's interested in following.

They'll depart within a few weeks with June to retcon a few instances in history that will prevent Lord English from being constructed without disrupting their current lives. 

Vriska is grateful for June's punch to the face that saved her from Terezi's attack, but it made her more aware of how quickly the entire course of history can change with a few small actions. Vriska simply _being_ there prevented Terezi from entering a relationship with Gamzee, prevented Rose's tumble into alcoholism, and allowed Dave and Karkat to grow closer. It was weird talking to ghosts in the Game Over timeline about their experience on the meteor versus her's, but it was insightful and gave her a temporary ego boost. 

Vriska doesn't tell Terezi of her plans with Rose and Kanaya, anxious and avoiding of the backlash she'll receive. Terezi has been respectful of her space, but Vriska can tell she's getting impatient. Vriska's desperate need to close in on herself might be self-destructive, but her current state of mind isn't making it easy to return to normal social life. She's not sure how responsive she'll be to Terezi, but she doesn't want to ruin their relationship by lashing out or shoving her away.

Why is she so fucking pathetic.

She misses when she and Terezi first met. Terezi didn't know her yet, and they had so many good days. So much fun just playing around and roleplaying. 

________________________________________

Two days before her departure, Vriska has to tell Terezi that she's leaving, else it'll eat her up inside. 

After a few glasses of wine, Vriska gathers the will to leave her study. She searches the house and finds Terezi in the bathroom adjacent to their bedroom. The door is wide open with the faint glow of candles bleeding light into the bedroom. The scent of cherry is intense and makes Vriska nauseous. 

"Terezi?" The sound of disturbed water fills the room as Terezi turns to the direction of the bathroom door. She sniffs past the candles to make out Vriska standing timidly in the door like a scared child. Terezi gives her a tired smile. Vriska looks at the sheen of water on Terezi's burn scars from all those years ago. Terezi's mullet is tied into a bun with the light of her phone reflecting against her glasses. The screen is visibly smothered in saliva, Terezi must have been reading. 

"Hey Vriska." Terezi says sweetly. She looks relieved that she's there. Vriska rocks her body side to side to stim and digs her nails into her bicep.

"I'm leaving with Rose and Kanaya in two days. We're going back to the game to help June retcon some shit." Terezi's smile drops and she looks surprised at her wife. Her thin brows furrow and she tosses her phone into the shower mat next to the tub. "What?"

Vriska doesn't say anything, watching Terezi take off her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose. Terezi's eyes move up and Vriska can't see her pupils against her sunburnt eyes, but she can tell that Terezi's looking at her. 

"Vriska you- why? Why? Why are you telling me this _now_?" Her voice struggles to come out calmly and not with anger and disbelief.

"They _need_ my god tier powers so that they don't fuck up. I have to."

"You don't _have_ to!" Terezi snaps. "They don't _need_ you for anything that they can't do and I know that." Her teeth grit and her eyes widen in anger. "I know that Rose and Kanaya don't ask anything of you cause I made it fucking sure that they don't call us again. For a long time."

Terezi pauses, looking at Vriska with her empty red eyes that shimmer with light from the candle. She continues, voice calmer, but still in her traditional accusatory voice that Vriska recognizes from their teenage arguments. "I think that you asked _them_ to let you join because for some reason you don't want to be home."

Vriska doesn't respond.

"Is it because of me? You've been avoiding me for a long time, Vriska."

"I'm tired of being useless is all. I can't just waste away forever." She lies through her teeth. "I just want to… relive the glory days, you know?"

She's going to throw up, her anxiety hasn't been this bad in awhile.

Terezi scoffs and remarks sharply, "Surely that's an excuse. 'Relive the glory days', Vriska you haven't talked like that since you were sixteen. You don't _care_ about that anymore and you have made that very clear to me."

Vriska bites her tongue. 

Terezi huffs and continues to stare in Vriska's direction.

"So instead of 'wasting away' you're going to go back into a violent universe and risk death because that's better than staying here. Vriska, can you think, for once, of the people who care about you instead of yourself?" 

Vriska's blood runs with ice and her throat dries. She runs her hand up through her hairline until it stops at a ratted part of her hair. She can't talk, it's like there's a rock in her chest. 

Terezi contines with a shaky voice, as if she's about to cry, her hands clinch above the water.

"What am I supposed to do if you're gone? I can't go back to worrying every day for you, never knowing when you'll be back. If… if you're going at least let me come with you. It's that or nothing. I can't let you go alone."

She stops talking and looks at Vriska with her eyes and nose tealing from the threat of tears. Vriska stares at her with a fearful expression, trying to formulate a response. She can't speak even if she wanted to. She's going to throw up.

She slaps a hand over her mouth, her upper half convulsing slightly- she feels the cool touch of her wedding ring against her lips. Vomit is coming and she can't stop it. She runs into the bathroom and drops her knees to the toilet. Her arms hug her stomach and she heaves into the toilet. Bile and wine emerging with a gross and wet sound filling the room.

"Vriska!" She hears Terezi leaving the tub along with wet slaps of feet against the tile floor. Hands are on her back and then are holding her hair above her head. 

Vriska pants heavily and heaves once more. She sits over the toilet in case more flows over, but no more vomit comes up. She spits remnants of bile into the toilet, flushes it, and lays the back of her head against Terezi's leg. Weakly, she looks at her wife. Terezi is naked, soaking in bathwater and looking at her with worry. Vriska whispers shakingly.

"I'm sorry."

Terezi's mouth begins to wobble slightly. Her brows knit and eyes sad, swimming with tears. She swallows thickly and moves to sit next to Vriska, letting Vriska's hair fall on her back. She let's Vriska rest her head on her shoulder. She takes Vriska's hand resting limply on the floor into her's, and rubs her palm.

"What… what happened?"

"I'm sorry I just… didn't know what to say. I think it was just anxiety."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sounded angry. I know that it puts you in a bad place and I got angry anyway."

"No you… you have every right to be angry. It's fine." Vriska shuts her eyes and weakly clenches her fingers around Terezi's. "I was being a dipshit. I won't go help Rose and Kanaya if you don't want me to."

"I really don't"

"Then I won't go." 

"Thank you." 

They sit in silence for a bit. Both heavy against each other from exhaustion. 

"Your cane has been in here for a long time Vriska. Why haven't you been using it?"

Vriska shrugs. 

"You really should be using it."

"I know."

Vriska lifts Terezi's hand and kisses her knuckles. "I'm tired, Terezi."

"You want to go to bed?"

"Yeah."

Terezi feels around for Vriska's cane and hands it to her.

"You get in bed and I'll dry off. I'll smell you there." She smiles weakly.

After Terezi dries off she sits on her side of the bed melting into the covers. She shifts close to Vriska and presses a kiss to the back of her neck.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe later."

Terezi hums in response, leaning in to kiss Vriska on the side of her head, underneath her eyepatch.

Vriska sighs and stirs in Terezi's embrace. "You missed."

"I'm not kissing your sweet sweet face right after you threw up, missy."

"Oh noooo…. You don't love me anymore."

"Hey now," Terezi says, barely lucid. 

Vriska huffs a laugh and props up on an elbow. Cracking her good eye open. Terezi sniffs to see Vriska looking at her. Vriska can see a few signs of age within Terezi's face. Terezi never god tiered so she ages completely normally. There's a tiredness in her red eyes. She's certainly beautiful for her age. She looks almost as young as she did from when Vriska traveled to the timeline they're currently in, spanning three unparalleled years and matching up their ages, not like it matters with both of them being in their forties, but it mattered then. 

Vriska, despite her immortality, continues to always look like she was dragged out of a dumpster. Wrinkles developing not from age, but from stress. Eyebags and grey hairs from stress once again. There's a softness that replaced every muscle she developed as a kid, especially in her arms. The scar in her eye only makes her look like more of a wreck.

They share similar feelings of adoration looking and 'looking' at each other until Terezi leans in to kiss her wife. Vriska hums and lazily purses her lips against Terezi's. Terezi's smile dissipates and she cups her thumb underneath Vriska's eyepatch to feel her scar. 

"I love you," Terezi says. "Do you mind if you let me 'see' you more clearly."

"Ugh, fine."

Vriska holds her breath and Terezi laps a long and slow tongue stroke up Vriska's face. Vriska wipes her face against a pillow afterward and Terezi hums with content.

"You're just as pointy as I imagine. And pretty. Pretty as the day I met you."

Vriska laughs, "You're right about the pointy part."

"You're also just as stubborn as when I met you. You're not really good at communication… I'm here for you, Vriska. And I want to hear from you when you're going through it."

Vriska blinks slowly at her wife and sighs. "I don't want you to be like… weighed down with all my shit, Terezi."

"I want to be weighed down by _some_ of it. I wouldn't take all your burdens, but I would be helping you lift them." Terezi strokes Vriska's cheek with her thumb and speaks again, "You already do the same for me. You know all my shit and you've made it easier for me to deal with it."

"Mm. Maybe someday."

"That someday should be soon." Terezi sucks in her lips slightly as her eyes move downwards.

"I've got a lot of time left as a teal blood but, not forever, Vriska."

"Can you not talk about that now."

"If it guilts you into opening up I'm willing to talk about it forever!" 

"Can we go to sleep." Terezi nods and closes her eyes as she strokes Vriska's face again, and the two drift off to sleep.

  
  



End file.
